What is the easiest and cheapest way to file for divorce with kids involved? The custody is agreed upon?
I have been separated from my husband for 8 years and we have a ten year old son together. We agree on the custody arrangements but have had the money to file. I am tired of waiting for him to help with the divorce so I am trying to do it on my own but don’t have much money being a single mom and working and going to school at night. Any suggestions would be great.
Go to your courthouse, and ask for a “pro se” packet. It’s a do-it-yourself divorce. Fill in the papers, sign, and file.
The whole thing will cost maybe $300.
Comment by mrs_G — February 9, 2010 @ 2:34 am
Do it on your own, ie. out of court. Depending on which state your in you can file “no contesta” divorce papers with the court house. Go to your local library and check into it. You should be able to print out the forms you need there.
Comment by Jennifer — February 12, 2010 @ 4:20 am
WARNING: LONG WINDED OLD FART
An uncontested divorce or paternity action need not require the two of you to hire attorneys. You need only find a Certified Mediator, hack out the agreement, in detail, file it with the court, and set a hearing date. On that day the judge will swear both of you in, ask if you both agree to the terms set down in the document, than everyone signs it. Generally, there is a 30-60 day waiting period for the document to be recorded with the county and state registries.
The mediator will be a lawyer or paralegal, with specialized training. Each of you MUST pay half the fees. The fees could run from $200 to $1000, depending on the going rates in your area, and time spent on the document. Court fees could run $50 to $150, but if you are tight on money, you could request a waiver.
These are the things you NEED to cover in the document.
CUSTODY
Soul Custody
Joint Legal Custody
Joint Physical Custody
Bird Nest Custody (see below)
VISITATION
How close do you live to him?
How old is the child?
How often?
What specific weeks, or months?
What specific holidays on in a list of years, do each parent get the children?
What if the custodial parent wants to move out of state?
MEDICAL
Who covers medical insurance?
Who decides on treatment?
CHILD SUPPORT
How much?
Weekly, Bi-Weekly, or Monthly?
How Long? Eighteen, High School, or End of College
Do you split the cost of college?
What state(s) may they attend in?
What is the minimum amount of college credit hours the child must take?
Who gets the tax deduction(s)?
What if the child gets pregnant? Does child support stop?
DEATH
If the residential parent dies, who gets the child? Never assume anything.
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May I ask why the divorce or separation? It’s very important that the child(ren) have both parents in the home. Is there nothing that can be done to preserve this?
Stanford University
Divorce, Nontraditional Families, and Its Consequences For Children
“We know that children of divorced parents have more emotional and behavioral problems and do less well in school than children who live with both their Parent.”
Fortune Magazine
“Ominously, the most reliable predictor of crime is neither poverty nor race but growing up fatherless.”
Stay married and save the planet
JOINT CUSTODY
Equal Time
How I divide my life between my divorced parents’ homes.
By Charlotte Juerge – Newsweek Web Exclusive – Dec 15, 2008
Father Makes Two
Time Magazine
By Margot Roosevelt Sunday, Nov. 11, 2003
Here’s a few books that might help.
Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids
Ten Stupid Things Couples do to Mess up Their Relationships
The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
Fatherless America : Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem
BIRD NEST CUSTODY
It’s a form of access or custody where the children stay in the former family residence and it is the parents who rotate in and out separately and on a negotiated schedule.
The children simply live at “home” and the separated or divorced parents take turns living with them there, but never at the same time.
The core element of this arrangement is that each parent maintains a separate residence where they live when it is not their turn at the “bird’s nest”. When one parent arrives for his/her designated time, the other vacates right away, so as to minimize or eliminate the presence of both at the same time.
At times, bird’s nest access can be coupled with specified access with the other parent say, for example, for dinner one night a week.
Sometimes, this form of access or custody will end when the youngest child reaches the age of majority at which time, one parent either buys the other out of their interest, if any, in the former family residence, or it is sold and the proceeds divided pursuant to the matrimonial property regime or separation agreement.
The arrangement can be expensive as it generally requires that three separate residences be maintained, the “nest” and a separate residence for each parent.
The concept is somewhat novel and appears to have as its origin a Virginia case Lamont v Lamont.
In Canada, Greenough v Greenough was a ground-breaker case in that the Court implemented a bird’
Comment by George McCasland - Papa Bear — February 13, 2010 @ 3:46 pm