bethanylawler.com

I’ve dealt with this fact all my life that my pops has another family in another country. There are several factors that make this a tough issue. For years he wants to bring them over and that will cause some serious problems. He wants to let them stay with us.

1. the family over there (my four half brothers) have always threatened to hurt my mom once they got here. My pop’s is now bringing them over after many years

2. My parents won’t divorce primarily because my mom doesn’t want to. She’s a career woman and has been very very successful. She doesn’t want to give half of their belongings because my dad would take a lot of what she’s earned away and give it to his sons. She’s all about money.

3. I want to move on with my own career, but if I were to leave, my dad would hand them the keys to operating one of our profitable family businesses. I want to improve the business, let it stand on its own.
Any attempt to communicate with my “half brothers” have been futile. They hate this side of the family because we are in the states and all my life, they’ve never written. It seems like they just want to take my dad and his money. They know of his relative success. I have been to this country and it is full of money mongrols. I can’t convince my dad of this and there are those in the family who support him on supporting his children. I partially agree, but don’t know how to go about this. My dad, cannot return because he got out in the first place due to political problems.

Suggestions? I’m tired of the family drama and just want to move on with my own life.
Oh, the only person they talk to is my dad. They tell them they are all miserable and just ask for money. He sends it, and the currency exchange goes far, so I know that they are fine. They don’t work, they just go out to cock fights. I work nearly everyday in the family biz and get nowhere near the respect he gives them.

I have two boys 1 and 3 . My husband and I have been married for 10 yrs, through our rocky marriage, finally I want to divorce him but I am scared about raising the boys alone. I work full time and try to spend a lot of time with my sons but how hard is it raise boys alone and do you have any tips/strategies for me? also my 3 yr old is diagnoised with autism.
I still don’t know how much active he will be!

my husband left me with no transportation or money for 3 weeks. He would stop by every once and a while to threaten me about signing shared custody papers, and he would be mentally and physically abusive.I have 2 kids 1 and 1 month. I left the state to go live with my mother and father for help without telling him. When we start the divorce will I be able to get full custody? What might happen? Please Please help!

have something to do with it ? Is a traditional family much more likely to raise a “good man” than a family of divorce ?
Aries girl, actually in 3/4 of cases its the woman who iniciates divorce, because of what SHE wants, not because of what is best for the children.

thanks mr vijay for your advice.i got married to my wife in a krishna temple in pune[maharashtra]according to local hindu marriage rituals .like garlanding each other and pundit performed many other local rituals.i think he did some shudhikarna also but i dont remember what he did.after the marriage the pundit gave me a certificate on his letterhead with his signature and with his stamp.this pundit performes many marriages every day.my marriage was performed in presence of my friends i have photographs of it.do you think our marriage is void even after having this certificate.is this marriage dosent come under hindu marriage act.
mr .vijay i will be very greatful for your advice and i dont mind sending you some consultation fees for it as you are sharing your valuable time .thanks alot

A certain family member is about to drive a bunch of us over the edge with what we think are very unrealistic notions she’s holding onto about collecting back child support from her ex-husband, and much of the frustration has to do with her absolute lack of realistic financial planning with the resources she has. She was divorced in 1994 after almost 19 years of marriage. She has three children, one of whom was already on his own at that time, while the other two kids were 16 and 14 when the divorce was finalized. The last time she got child support from her ex was probably 1997-98, and she has talked and talked for years about how much her ex owes her but she has done nothing until now except make a few sporadic phone calls to see where her ex is working, but she has never contacted support authorities, lawyers or anyone else beyond initial consultations as far as I know.

The point several of us are trying to make with her is that she’s done too little and it’s too late.
We think it’s probably way past time for her to have any hope of getting any back support IF her ex has any money, but she’s frustrating a bunch of us with her focus on this fantasy and she’s not doing a thing to realistically plan out her finances–she says she can’t (or won’t) make out a budget and stick with it, and this idea that she can get money from her ex despite not having pursued back child support in several years is absolutely unrealistic and no way to plan how she will live and pay her bills.

I guess what I’m looking for are any sites that will say that if a back child support case is inactive for a long period of time–which hers has been–that since she hasn’t pursued it until now, she can’t expect to get anything from her ex now even if he has the money and that she just needs to get on with life and start making realistic plans. Any resources or websites you could point me to would be appreciated.
There may be alimony in the equation as well. I don’t know, I try to limit my conversations with her just because this stuff seems like all she can focus on. If it is alimony and not child support, is there any sort of statute of limitations if no action has been taken on back support.

The divorce was finalized in Tennessee. She lives in Indiana now, and her ex lives in Arizona.
If I’m wrong and it’s alimony and not child support, what if any statutes of limitations are there if she hasn’t pursued this?

My parents got divorced when I was in preschool and unfortunately I remember every detail of what happened. Both parents remarried.
My step-mom has depression problems but refuses to take pills. she’s great and caring, but I have seen that good side of her maybe once since i have known her in the 4 years i have (yes, she was sober). She will leave to care for her daughter who is going through a divorce (her husband cheated on her) every other 3 weeks or so (i live 1 week at my mom’s, 1 week at my dad’s as a pattern) and comes back it a deeper depression pit each time. today she said, “I know no one loves me, or cares about me. I will go to my daughter’s house then come back home and find the place a wreck. No, this isn’t my home, this is just a house. With a husband who doesn’t love me, or even like me for that matter. He could care less what I do, and 4 kids who I clean up after and care for everyday that aren’t even mine.”
And, true, we aren’t hers, but I am very grateful for everything she does (but my bros don’t really say much but “World of Warcraft…blah blah blah…Counterstrike…blah blah blah…SHUT UP YOU MOFO GET OUT MY FACE REATRD…blah…” you get the picture. the shouting part was what they normally say to me on a day to day basis…but it is sometimes alot worse than that. My dad is in terrible debt from food getting opened then never eaten, therefore getting thrown out, and my grandpa. my grandpa faught in WWII, the korean, he viatnam, and many other wars, has various medical conditions (half minor, half major, sort of in between, but leaning toward minor), has alzteimer’s, is obsessed with horoscopes and his “angels” that supposedly tell him things like he will wim a million bucks tomorrow, or the thing he mostly says, that he is getting married. he goes to his “restaurant” which used to be Perkins, but is now Shoney’s, and thinks that every waitress is his girlfriend. He even stalked this 30-year-old women who was jogging in the morning, following her with his car. he also tips at restaurants 40 bucks every time, and buys tons of rediculous stuff we don’t need. My oldest brother just started to drive (he got his liscense ON his birthday), and my grandpa wanted to give him his car. his car is the fastest of everyone in the household (but he usually drives about 20 mi. under the limit), which of course by brother wouldn’t be able to use, 1 because it has racecar engine, and 2 because what if he gets mad? the car is his, so he would probably drive off somewhere. my dad spoils my oldest bro all the time, and a car would just mke it worse.
my life at my mom’s house is fine, even though my mom and step-dad fight alot, but that is just because my step-dad is a retired marine gunny,so, duh, he is gonna be stubborn.
oh i forgot to mention that my dad is a med-alcoholic, which means he has about 4 beers a day. he is doin better though cuz he used to drink 3 six packs a day when i was little (kindergarten-2nd grade) and would abuse us. we were all to little to realize what we had to do and why this abuse was wrong…we took it as a form of spanking, just with extra discipline. my dad doesn’t abuse us anymore, but still drinks as I said, 4 or 5 beers a day. oh, and 1 last thing, my step-mom thinks that my mom and dad still love each other (which is completely bizzare) and that if they wanted to get back that she would be “the first one to put them together.”
My step-mom left one time for a month and a half to her daughter’s (she said it would be “forever” but she jumps in the shallower and deeper part of her pit) and as I said before, now goes up there for a week, every other 3 weeks, or so.

well that concludes the basics of my family issues.
at least one thing is good about my life:
im a straight “a” student who has good friends, and a wonderful career ahead of her.

but that is not something i could spend an hour trying to decide what the “basics” of that are.

please help. please, no “ignore them” or “you will get through this when you move out” type answers. I try to be optimistic.

thank you.

Melanie

We were married 10/12/03. Without warning last May, my husband stated he loved me but was not in love with me and four hours later moved back with his parents at the age of 35. He admitted his own fault, willingness to give up everything, agreed to pay for the first on the mortgage; in other words he felt guilty and he did not want me to suffer because of his choice and unwillingness to marriage counsel ling. Now that I am asking for alimony because we are losing the house that I am living in do to his not paying his prior verbal agreement of the first and I cannot afford to rent with my salary alone, he got a consultation by an attorney telling him that he was not legally responsible for alimony because of our short marriage. Is this true? Another counsel statement was that I would be responsible for half of the legal fee. Is this true?

Is this fair or not? I think this is unfair, not all career women are bad, I don’ t know why Micheal Noer gave such article like this, but to tell the truth not all womens can be harsh …wat about mens? they are harsh too…come on people, its not only careers, its how the person is inside..

read this article wgat Micheael Noer : gave…http://www.forbes.com/home/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html
I know Micheal Noer was right about this, but I find this article making women more cheap comparing to mens.

http://www.forbes.com/home/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html

The above article appeared on Forbes.com….Why does everyone get bent out of shape when a guy has the cajones to tell the truth? The family is the most important pillar of society, and women have the important job of keeping the family stable….when did it become unacceptable to tell the truth??????